"F. E. A. R.. For Everything A Reason". (Ian Brown)
Updated: Dec 24, 2020
Fear what does it mean to you...
We are born with two fears, a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. These fears are hardwired into us from birth as a survival mechanism, the rest of our fears are learned through our life experiences and the stories we tell ourselves which if told over and over again, can reign true for us in our own personal beliefs.
Therefore we should never strive to be "Fearless" as the thing about fear is that it’s never going away we need fear it’s a primal instinct we need it to survive to recognise danger. Fear can be good as it can release adrenaline and cortisol to help us get out of a dangerous situation faster than we ever thought we could move and find the strength that we never thought we had in us.
However, the fear we don’t need comprises of the stories we tell ourselves back before we even remember when those stories even started. Stories we have convinced ourselves to be true that remain firmly stuck in our mind which also activates the learned associated response each time we come across this fear. This is where are fear of flying, spiders, heights, etc comes from and these fears are unique and personal to us.
What we have to remember is these are stories we told ourselves or things we have learned from observation changing our perception of things in life. These stories now reside in our mind because we programmed them to be there. However, what we don’t realise is that these don’t have to remain fixed and live there permanently. We can reprogram our minds and replace the response with something positive instead reducing the power that are fears currently hold over us.
Therefore, within the 'Serotonin Solutions' practice my aim is to empower you to "fear less" getting rid of all the negative untrue chatter we tell ourselves to enable you to break free of the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from the life you truly aspire to live.
So how do we being to address our fears?
To do this begin by firstly listening and being aware of the negative chatter going on in your mind and become the observer of your thoughts. This negative chatter comes from the primitive area of our brain, our limbic system that we discussed in my previous blog "Thriving or Surviving". However, this part of the brain is not innovative and in fact has the intellectual capacity of a 5-7 year old. Our primitive area of the brain also sees any change as danger and a potential threat. It will therefore want to stay within your normal comfort zone and will not encourage a new lifestyle or behaviours.
In addition to this, the main purpose of this area of our mind is our survival, therefore it will always be looking for the worst possible outcomes to ensure your survival. The negative chatter you are hearing is coming from an area in your brain that has the intellectual capacity of a 7 year old at best who is constantly looking for the worst possible outcomes to assess our level of danger in order to keep us safe.
It is important to remember this as you become more aware of the negative chatter going on in your mind. I always use a “friend filter” if you were speaking to a friend and they were in the same situation as you what would you say to support them? I’m guessing the language you would use to a friend is not the same as the language of the negative chatter that goes on in your mind when you are feeling depressed or anxious.
Try to use the words you would be saying to a friend the next time you experience a negative situation in your life, see what difference it makes to your overall well being.
Start thinking about the daily positive aspects of your life – a friend or a loved one how does that make you feel? Do you notice the difference?
Instead of thinking that an upcoming event or situation may go wrong, try switching this around. Begin to imagine and start thinking what if it doesn’t? what could happen? How would I be feeling? What would I be doing?
So ask yourself what fears are present in your life that are preventing you from being your true self.
Is it a fear of the unknown, a fear of a rejection, a fear of heights, a fear of flying?
Whatever that fear is you have the power within you to be free of it.
It all begins with simple steps and a re-frame of the fear that resides in you because of the stories and beliefs you have been holding within yourself.
At Serotonin Solutions we will work together to work through and challenge the stories and beliefs your are holding and begin to re-frame these from a negative to a positive outcome. In doing so you will be freeing yourself from thoughts and emotions that do not serve you anymore and begin a return to your true self and start living the life you truly want to lead.
In my next blog I will be talking about the power of positive thinking and how we can begin to make small daily changes to train our brain to always look for the positive outcomes in a situation and use this to our advantage.