With Christmas fast approaching, we can often find ourselves worrying about gifts to buy for others… however, we must remember to always give ourselves a gift too as we often overlook this in the busy Christmas rush… The true gift we can give ourselves this season is the gift of happiness and peace of mind.
For some of us, this time of year may not be the season that brings the joy and sense of family and belonging that's its meant to.... perhaps you may feel lonely and missing loved ones, a relationship or a special friend that is no longer in your life…
Or perhaps you have all this, but still feel a sense of overwhelm or burn out as you don't give enough time for yourself and perhaps are not living the life you authentically want to live…
We are hard wired to connect in meaningful ways and find ways in which we can have a sense of belonging and purpose in life - not having this can often be a significant contributor to feelings of depression, anxiety and/or anger.
However, seeking true purpose and meaning and fostering the courage to make that change can often fill us with fear and panic over what others may think or more often than not, you are afraid that you don't have it in you to succeed..
However regardless of what we are feeling we need to understand that unless we take the time to notice and address these issues we will not move forward and continue to feel like we are merely surviving on a day to day basis instead of thriving and leading the life we truly want to live…
These feelings and emotions will not disappear until we look at them and understand what they are trying to tell us - the only way forward is through - not distraction or avoidance as the quote below confirms:
During this final week of this year, take some time to reflect on what's going on with you… are there any underlying emotions that are making you feel uneasy or unwell… draining you rather than bringing you joy… is it a person or a situation that's driving these
What emotions are you papering over or shelving or just telling yourself that it's OK when you know deep down it really isn't?
What lies beneath those emotions.. Underlying fear drives most of these...fear of being rejected, fear of being lonely, fear of failure?
What one small step could you make today that would bring you closer to beginning to face this emotion… perhaps journaling, writing this out in paper to weigh up the pros and cons? talking to a friend or loved one? or actively seeking help with a professional therapist?
Emotions will stay until we begin to start to recognise them and understand what they are trying to tell us as they are alarms that our mind and body uses to protect us..
They may show on us physically and/or mentally until we deal with them.
In these times it is important to remember the beauty of the impermanence of life… "this too shall pass" ....hold on to that.
Its time to start reframing the stories we tell ourselves as that is all they are… stories.. Our brain believes whatever we tell it so be careful… but we can use this as our super power.
What story have you been telling yourself this year?… "I'm not good enough.. I'll never have this or do that… I'm always going to be alone… this never happens to me.. What of it goes wrong - what if I fail?"
What would happen if you starred reframing those stories and started to believe that something better was around the corner...what if you didn't fail...what if it did go right this time? the only way you will ever know is by taking the first small step forward to becoming the persons you want to be
So what do you really want this Christmas?....If you want to attract love and friendship into your life you have to learn to love yourself first… be the friend or partner to yourself that you would seek in others.
What one kind thing could you do today? Its only when we connect to others and reframe our attitude that we start to notice the possibilities that are open to us..
Is there a story that keeps playing in your head like a broken record?… how can you reframe thus into a positive… what would you tell a best friend or a loved one or a child? how would you console them?… start telling it to yourself…
Even if it seems tiny it's a step forward to a new change… we learn old unhealthy ways of dealing with emotional issues such as avoiding and distracting with alcohol, smoking, shopping, gambling eating … but imagine how you would feel to be released from theses limiting behaviours… how would your life look then… what would you be doing? imagine how proud of yourself you would be after taken this first small step....
So let's see if we can. Begin this upcoming week with a small action or a change of viewpoint towards a particular event or person by showing kindness instead of anger - this can take us in a different direction… as this could open up some real opportunity for change....and a move towards our true authentic selves and the positive life we want to achieve… surely it's worth trying.. we owe it to ourselves during this Christmas period as the world is tough enough without us being tough on ourselves and never be afraid to reach out for help as this is the most courageous and bravest thing you can do.
To find out more on how I can help bring about this change just get in touch or visit my
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